OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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