I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
