rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
