He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
