He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
this is an emotional support booty call
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
