forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
