where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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