She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
