I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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