I'm sorry my penis didn't work
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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