What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
