Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
