Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
