is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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