Cold hands, warm shart.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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