How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
