her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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