maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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