hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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