Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
