Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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