it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
