when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And then he peed in my hair
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
