I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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