RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
