Christians are straight up FREAKS
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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