We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
