Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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