Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
