so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
