Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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