I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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