I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We have so much sex to catch up on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
