guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
