And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
