Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
