Who did Billy Mays play for?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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