he puts the penis in happiness.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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