I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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