I want to stick my p in your. b.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
