You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
