Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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