there's paper in my vomit.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize