What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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