I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
