i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
