Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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