oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
