If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
