Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
