Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
