I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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