before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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