it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize