I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize