Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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