You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
