i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
