Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
