I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize