Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
