I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
